I have been thinking a lot about isolation lately. Our house is almost empty, the children have grown and most have moved on to establish their own rhythms and places. Work fills our days with tasks and responsibilities but often leaves me “free” in the evening. The phone never rings. TV is bust. Dozens of half-completed house projects stare back at me. The yard has never looked so nice.
‘Time-alone’ is a sought after treasure. A time to think, read, and ‘do what I want to do.’ The menu is simpler, conflicts are reduced, and no one is around to question decisions made or decisions postponed. However, I am coming to understand the dangerous differences between being alone, loneliness and isolation. Social distancing has consequences.
We all need ‘time-away’. Time to seek God’s voice, reflect, relax and recover. We ask ourselves important questions and listen for the Spirit’s voice. Jesus was reported to regularly retreat and seek out places of solitude and prayer.
However, the very first warning in the creation story is “It is not good for man to be alone.” When people are alone, many struggle with burdens, anxiety, addictions and the sorrow of opportunities lost. Temptation knocks. It is likely loneliness enhances feelings of depression and primes the spiral of dark thoughts. Loneliness fills minds with accusations and bitterness. Dark dark.
But I have come to see that something even worse than loneliness is isolation. While being lonely is a sad condition, a descriptive adjective, isolate is a noun and a verb. It can be self-inflicted, a misguided self-remedy. It also can be a dangerous weapon, used to punish another, but turns out to be mutually toxic. It is known that solitary confinement is the greatest punishment. Why would one sentence oneself to isolation?
The Word of God consistently invites us into relationships. The Father’s will is for us to know him and be ourselves known. He has designed us to be surrounded by family and friends for safety, encouragement and joy.
There is a time of pain immediately after an injury. But minutes after a burn, a cut or a break, our body begins the healing process. Experts provide medicine, companions supply care and the body begins to heal. Healthy others is the remedy to our emotional and relational pain.
My friends, who are your close friends? Who do you rely on, who really knows you? If the list is blank, your schedule empty and the phone never rings, I encourage you to diligently seek out others! The cure to isolation is God-given companions.
A tour of being alone in the Bible (Scripture referenced): Mark 1:35, Genesis 2:18, Job 7:16, Psalm 16:5, Ecclesiastes 4:8-12, John 16:32-33, Romans 14:7, 1 Timothy 5:5, I John 1:1-4.