As a new parent of three young children twenty years ago, I often told a joke that said: ‘I want to write a parenting advice book called, “How to Parent without Getting Up from the Couch – The Art of Raising Children from Across the Room.” ‘ I imagined chapter titles like:
1. “Hey, stop that.”
4. “Don’t make me come in there.”
6. “Leave your brother alone.”
9. “Go to sleep already!”
A book like that tells of my exhaustion of parenting and even a laziness. Shouting without a commitment to growth. “I just need some peace and quiet.” I sound just like my Dad, who once told me, “When we were raising you four children, one was crying and another had a poopy diaper for ten years straight!” Yeah, right, from a guy who likely never touched a diaper.
However, speaking of exhaustion, many of us now realize in 2020, as a society we are suffering from Chronic Anxiety/News Turmoil (CAN’T). Some of us just cannot handle any more drama, divisiveness or debate. CAN’T is a crafty disorder that tells us the lie, “You can handle another 30 minutes of news and it won’t wreck your mood or any of your relationships.”
So, here is the title of my next book in my self-help relationships series:
“Aiming at Depth – How Labels and One-liners Aren’t Good Enough Anymore.”
I want to grow emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually to a level of depth that increases my ability to hold thoughtful conversations and have more mature responses. I wish to aim at relationships and explore new concepts. I wish one day to find myself above the fray of easy labels and one-liner put downs. I desire to shed a combative attitude when presented with thoughts that conflict with my understanding of the complex world around me. I aspire to ask profound questions and appreciate real factual expertise. Discussions with a commitment to growth.
So, here is the soapbox. Labels (‘old-fashioned’, ‘liberal’, ‘racist’, ‘woke’, ‘phobic’) do not help anything. They prevent us from seeing another person as a real person. One, two or three-liners stashed away about a topic might ‘shut-someone-else-up’ but fail to really develop a dialog to understand a point-of-view. Personally, I wish to aim at depth, a posture of inquiry, fact-finding, pages of knowledge, and respectful dialog where ideas can be explored, opinions shared and discoveries made. Wisdom. Will you join me?
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 NIV